Q: I dated a man for three months, ended it and since then, he has been belligerent, hostile, threatening, and I think he may be stalking me. The police have taken a report, but incredibly told me “nothing has happened yet” that allows them to act. First question: What can I do to at least try to stop this jerk from harassing me?
H.D., Los Angeles
A: A restraining order (sometimes referred to as a “protective order”) is issued by the court to seek to prevent you, if not others, such as family members, from being physically or sexually abused, threatened, stalked or harassed. The order can be broad as well as quite specific.
The court, for example, can order that the offender stop contacting, calling or sending any communications, stop attacking, striking or battering, cease stalking, threatening or sexually assaulting, stop harassing, stop destroying personal property, and no longer disturb the peace of the protected person(s). These are referred to as “personal conduct orders.” There also can be stay-away orders, such that the restrained individual must keep a certain distance from the affected individual(s).
There are restraining orders with regard to domestic violence, elder or dependent adult abuse, civil harassment, and workplace violence. Forms for the civil harassment restraining order are available online. See the topic below entitled “Online Help.”
Q: Second question: Can I get a restraining order myself, or should I have a lawyer handle it?
H.D., Los Angeles
A: The process is available for you to do yourself, and I know some people who have handled the court matter on their own. It comes down to your comfort level, and economics.
Seeking a harassment restraining order is arguably similar to pursuing a small claims case, but the nature of what you are asking is quite different since it is not focused on money, and can require urgent action. The concern is for your personal safety and well being. Thus, at least consulting a lawyer, for guidance if nothing else, may well be a prudent middle ground.
My bottom line view is if you can afford to have a lawyer handle it, that makes the most sense.
Online help
The California courts have a self-help guide online with regard to a civil restraining order at selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/CH-restraining-order. Another available online link has the forms for civil harassment (as well for other forms of abuse) at courts.ca.gov/1281.htm. And here is an online link if you want to try to mediate or otherwise resolve the harassment case: courts.ca.gov/20131.htm.
Ron Sokol has been a practicing attorney for over 40 years, and has also served many times as a judge pro tem, mediator, and arbitrator. It is important to keep in mind that this column presents a summary of the law, and is not to be treated or considered legal advice, let alone a substitute for actual consultation with a qualified professional.
Source: Orange County Register
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